Life is full of disappointment, so I count myself pretty lucky when the biggest disappointment of the moment is a beauty product not working out. That being said, it still sucks, so if I can help you avoid the same fate, well, I’m happy to do it. Of course, the things that don’t work out for me might be the perfect product for you, so take your own preferences and experiences into account when reading this post. I like to keep all of my reviews balanced by mentioning both the pros and cons of the products I’m discussing, but today we’re getting extra sassy. Just a bit of good fun, no harm or offense intended, so please don’t take it personally if you happen to love (or made!) any of the products I’m talking about today. Now, let’s unleash the sass fairy…
Urban Decay Vice Liquid Lipstick
I have a review of these here, so I won’t go into too much detail. Essentially, Urban Decay promised way too much in their promotions for the Vice Liquid Lipstick, and failed to deliver on their promises. They’re not waterproof, they get crumbly, and fade unevenly. The formula is inconsistent between shades. They’re kinda a hot mess. If a brand is just releasing a liquid lipstick this late in the game, the formula needs to be perfect in order to compete with all of the brands that have already established themselves as the top liquid lipsticks. The Vice Liquid Lipsticks aren’t so bad that they’re unusable, and I would buy more if I found a color I really wanted, but these don’t even rank among my top formulas. It’s a total bummer that my favorite brand released a beautiful range of colors in stunning packaging, but left me high and dry with the formula. Save your money and buy Ofra, Ciate, NYX, or ColourPop liquid lipsticks instead.
NYX HD Concealer in Green
Speaking of NYX, let’s talk about this concealer that’s waaay too green. In terms of blendability and the actual feel of the concealer, it’s not bad. I would purchase a shade of this to match my skin, and I’d probably be happy with it. But this green shade for color correcting redness? Oh hell naw. This stuff is so green, the only thing I’d use it for is a little green Martian costume. When it’s covered up with foundation, it still comes through as green or gray. There just seems to be no way to get this to look natural, even under a high-coverage foundation, or applying a really thin layer of this concealer. It’s not really effective at hiding zits and redness if it’s still drawing attention to the area for another reason. I love a lot of NYX’s products, but this is a pass for me.
Anastasia Beverly Hills Stick Foundation
This is probably the biggest disappointment of the bunch because of the hope I had attached to it. Not only is it supposed to be a stick foundation that works for oily skin (mine is combo to oily, especially in the summer months), it’s one of the few foundations that offers several shades for people with an olive undertone. Norvina, Anastasia’s daughter and the person responsible for developing this product and many others, really took the time to try to understand olive undertones so I had a lot of faith in her getting this right. Unfortunately, this product failed me in both color and formula. I bought this online the day it released, so I didn’t get a chance to swatch any of the colors before purchasing. There’s a chance there’s a better color for me in the range, but I don’t like the formula enough to try to find one. The fact that this doesn’t match me (it’s not that far off, but definitely not what I hoped it would be) is on me, but this formula is more disappointing than Suicide Squad.
It goes on easily enough, but it’s difficult to blend, regardless of which tool is used. Sponge, fingers, brush, doesn’t matter, the final result looks weirdly powdery and cakey. If you’re like me and prefer skin-like foundations, don’t even bother with this one. It just gets worse from there. This is supposed to be a foundation for oily skin, which I guess is why it looks so dry to begin with, but within a few hours it turns into a total oil slick and starts to wear away quickly. It also transfers super easily, which is a major ‘hell no’ for me because I touch my face a lot (look man, I have cats, and one in particular likes to rub his face on my makeup brushes. Picking nearly invisible cat hairs off of my face is basically a daily activity, not to mention having my own hair sticking to my face as the weather gets warmer). I tried absolutely everything to get this foundation to work: primer, no primer, silicone primer, non-silicone primer, powder, no powder, every type of application tool and method and not a damn one of them could make this foundation look good. Point blank: it’s just not a good product, and it’s incredibly rare that I say that. This had so much potential, especially with the shade range, but ABH really blew it with this one.
Lancome Le Metallique Lip Lacquer in Mirrored Nude
Lancome, I love you, but what the fuck? Most of the Lancome makeup items I’ve tried have been great quality, and I’ve had nothing negative to say about them. When the Le Metallique Lip Lacquers launched they looked like a gorgeous new way to wear the metallic lip trend which, despite having lived through the horrifying frosted lipsticks of the 90’s, I am all about. When Sephora offered them as a sample with purchase, I was like “hell yeah, gimme dat.” Aaaand then I tried it. First off, the wand is terrible. Maybe the wand is different in the full size tubes, but in the sample size they’re a flat flocked paddle wand that barely picks up any product. You can get about half a lip covered, if you work at it and try to spread the product as far as it will go. My lips aren’t that big, and this isn’t a problem I’ve ever had with another lip gloss. Also, let’s talk about how this isn’t metallic, like at all. It looks absolutely no different than a regular lip gloss. It looks way prettier in the tube than it does on the lips, where it just turns into a regular shiny lip gloss, nothing special about it at all. Actually, I take that back, there is something special about it: this is the stickiest shit I’ve ever put on my lips. I can get down with a gloss that has a bit of tackiness to it because that means it’ll stick around longer. The Urban Decay Revolution lip glosses are sticky. These? These are like putting tree sap on your lips. Nah, uh-uh, nope, these are something I want nothing to do with. What kills me is that these were a beautiful product conceptually, but the execution just left them dead on arrival.
Buxom Lip Gloss in White Russian
White Russian is a cult classic. It used to be talked about by every beauty vlogger on YouTube, and while the hype has died down, KathleenLights still talks about it as one of her favorite products ever. Girl, I love you, but I don’t get it. I picked up a mini tube as part of a Sephora favorites set and was excited to finally try this lip gloss that everyone seemed to love so much. I guess I should’ve known better than to think I would like this because even just looking at it online, it’s clear that it’s a pinky nude. I have an olive undertone (muted warm olive to be exact, in case you were wondering), and somewhat pigmented lips. This lip gloss makes me look like I died from a strawberry milk overdose. The milkiness looks super awkward and gross as it settles into my lip lines, and the baby pink tone clashes with my undertone something fierce. Even if this color didn’t look horrible on me, I still can’t imagine why this particular gloss would be so adored by so many people. There is absolutely nothing special about this lip gloss. There are tons of drugstore lip glosses that will do the exact same thing, way cheaper, and that milkiness is still not gonna look cute on anyone with pigmented lips. I guess I can count this among the overhyped products that failed to wow me irl.
Glamglow Glow Starter
Oh, GlamGlow, you overpriced, overhyped little shitshow. I don’t like GlamGlow, and I never have. I’ve tried several of their products, including their cult favorite clay masks. You know what those masks do for me? Irritate the shit outta my skin. My opinion of those masks is that they may give you quick results, but they do it by being overly aggressive. That’s not what we’re talking about today, but it is why I have a bias against this brand, so I thought it was worth mentioning. I got the GlamGlow Glow Starter in a Sephora Play box and was immediately unenthused since I’ve yet to find anything I like from this brand. However, even when I don’t like a brand, I’ll usually still give something a chance because I’m open to changing my mind and having new experiences. This was an experience I could have done without. Glow Starter is a glowy lotion, similar to MAC Strobe Cream, Erborian Glow Creme, or Becca Backlight Priming Filter. In appearance, it’s nice, but I think all 3 of the previously listed products do a better job of creating glowy skin. What really grinds my gears about this product is the smell. OH MY GOD it makes me smell like I bathed in a vat of creamsicles. It’s not one of my favorite smells to begin with because I think it’s too sweet, but holy avocado on toast this stuff is so fragrant that I could still smell it on my face at the end of the day. That’s never happened to me before with any product that wasn’t specifically a scented body product or perfume. I don’t want or need my face to smell like an Orange Julius. No, GlamGlow, just no.
1960 NY Aqua Intensive Toner
When ‘aqua intensive’ is part of the name, you kind of expect a hydrating toner, no? I received this toner from 0.8L and was excited to try the 1960NY brand. This toner completely missed the mark unfortunately. It wasn’t bad in the sense that it had a negative effect on my skin, but I didn’t find this toner to be hydrating at all. My skin was normal to slightly oily when I was testing this, so it’s not like my skin was so dry that I was expecting miracles. This toner had one job and it didn’t do it, I can only imagine how useless it would be on someone with dry skin. Totally not into it, and it’s kind of put me off the whole 1960NY brand now, bummer.
Beauty of Joseon Dynasty Cream
I know. What?! This is a cult classic in the Asian cosmetics community. The thing is, I don’t dislike this product, but it did disappoint me. I think it does everything it’s supposed to do, it’s a nice cream, and I would recommend it if you can find it and it sounds like it would be a good product for your skin type. The reason this disappointed me was because it’s much heavier than I expected it to be. I thought it would be a lightweight cream, perfect for summer. However, on my skin it feels more like a sleeping pack, so that’s what I’ve started to use it as. It feels too heavy for me to use as an everyday moisturizer, and since that’s what I had hoped to use it as, it’s disappointing. Not a bad product at all, just not what I personally thought it would be based on other people’s reviews.
Smashbox 24 Hour Photo Finish Shadow Primer
The first time I used this, I had to completely take my makeup off and start again. The problem with this is that it’s so sticky that it makes it difficult to blend. I’ll use up the rest of the sample and be sure to set the primer with a bit of face powder every time I use it to make sure it’s not so sticky, but would I buy this? Hell no. My Urban Decay Primer Potion keeps my eyeshadow on just as well, if not better, and I don’t have to fuss with an extra step to make it useable. UD remains my one true love.
Pony Effect Contoured Brow Color in #Customizing
So, the premise with this brow gel is that it helps you to lighten/disguise the natural color of your brows, allowing you to use either a fun color or a color to match your dyed hair better, which is what I bought it for back when my hair was still copper. I was frustrated trying to find a brow color because my hair was so warm toned, but my natural hair/brow color is a very, very cool toned dark blonde so it seemed like no matter what brow color I used, my brow hairs would still look a little out of place. So does this product work? Technically yes, it does help to lighten the brows, but there are a few things about this that annoy me too much to deal with this damn thing. First, the brow gel itself is basically a light peachy concealer, which depending on your skin tone may or may not work for you. It looked pretty crazy on me, and obviously people with deeper skin would have a really hard time making this work. Second, this dries crunchy as hell, especially since you have to build the pigment up if you actually want to cover your brows all the way. Finally, the brush sucks. It has short bristles on one side and longer bristles cut in a semi-circle on the other. Both sides are made out of a material that reminds me of a cheap, fake Christmas tree. Pass. Life is too short to wear crunchy brow gel.
Every Damn Pair of Eyelure Lashes I’ve Ever Bought
Maybe I’m just buying the wrong styles, but I’ve not had a good experience with any of the Eyelure lashes I’ve tried, and I’ve tried at least 5 different styles. On several of them, the band is super thin, which is nice, but there’s no tension on the band. It makes the band feel super floppy and difficult to put on because it keeps wanting to wave around like one of those blow up things outside of a car dealership. With a couple of styles, including the one shown here, I have the exact opposite problem. The band on these is so stiff I can’t even get them to stick to my eyes because they keep popping off. I’ve wiggled the band to loosen it up again and again, but they’re still so stiff that they’re unuseable. I give up on trying to find anything I like from this brand (their lash glue also sucks), I’m tired of wasting my money. Go with House of Lashes or Social Eyes instead.
Alright, bitchfest over! I feel like I’ve just been through makeup therapy haha. Hopefully you got something out of this post! I know I always enjoy hearing what didn’t work well for other people. What was the last product that disappointed you? Let me know in the comments!
Thanks for reading!